We want to change but where do we start?
We all want (or need) to make a change in our lives. There is a point where it is no longer optional. The time has come. It is time for change!
I’m restarting my fitness journey. In my fitness journey, I have had a couple of missteps before. If you’ve ever done any type of diet, or anything like that, I’m sure you’re right there with me. To be successful this time I realized the most important thing that I need to do before I begin:
First, I must start where I am.
One of the most important things that I had to do with myself was to see the world as it is. There’s a great quote by Saul Alinsky who was a community organizer, and he said:
“As an organizer, I start from where the world is, as it is, not as where I would like it to be. That we accept the world as it is, does not in any sense weaken our desire to change it into what we believe it should be. It is necessary to begin where the world is, if we are going to change it to what we think it should be.”Saul Alinsky
This is true in society. If we want to change the world, we need to see the world where it is, not just as we want it to be.
The same as true for ourselves. If we want to transform ourselves, if we want to change any area of our lives, we must start where we are.
Right now I’m working on my weight, and my physical fitness, but it can be mental wellness, spiritual wellness, family connection, or any area of life.
We need to see it where it really is, not worse than it is. There are times where I’ll look at myself in the mirror, and just go:
“Ah, I’m so fat, I’m so out of shape, I’m just horrible, I’m just a horrible blob of blubber.”
No, I’m not. I’m not that bad. But I definitely need to be better.
So I need to not see myself worse than I am, but I also need to see myself not better than I am.
There are times I try to tell myself, I’m not actually that overweight.. I’m just big boned, right? I’m just tall… Dude, you ain’t that tall, just saying.
It’s finding that middle ground of seeing realistically where we are. Then once you know where you really are, then we can change.
Begin with the end in mind
Once we have our starting point, where do we want to go? What is the end result that you want out of your life, in this area? What is our end purpose? Begin with the end in mind, as Stephen Covey always says, and I talk about this in my quest program to help find your life’s purpose.
I want to change the world. You’ve heard me say this, that my mission is to make the song “Cat’s in the Cradle” just a song, and not a story about anybody. And that takes energy. That is why I want to get in shape, not just to be strong and like the way I look in the (okay, there’s a little bit of that), but to be able to fuel my cause. Fuel my mission.
I need to keep that clear vision and purpose about what is my physical legacy going to be.
I want to look good for my wife and be there for my kids and my grandkids. Don’t we all want to have energy to actually participate in life, not just watch? I don’t want to be a sideline dad. I want to be out there. That takes energy. It takes flexibility. It takes fitness. That’s not hauling around 300 pounds. You understand?
If it is time for a change in your life, this is my admonition to you:
Figure out an area of life you know you need to change. Find your pain point.
Once you have that one thing, get a clear vision of the future. What’s your purpose in this area?
In my quest program, I talk about larger life vision, but right now I want you to focus on just this one piece of your life. What’s your vision for it? Get a clear picture of all of the wonderful things that will be in your life because you make that change.
- I’m going to have more energy
- I will be looking good in the mirror
- I’m going to be able to be sexy for my partner…
List out as many as you can. Then create that beautiful future.
The negative stuff… What do you want to move away from? How will your life be worse if you don’t change?
- I don’t want to be on the sidelines.
- I’m tired of being tired.
- I want to be able to sleep well (you can’t when you’re 100 pounds overweight).
I want you to feel of all that pain. List it all out. Then create that dystopian future if you don’t change.
As humans, we either want to move towards pleasure, or away from pain. That simple. You need both.
Time to Make the Change Real
Take out a piece of paper or get your journal out. Right Now…
Write down your pain point, and see yourself as you are, not worse, things can always get worse, trust me.
Author’s Note: Never, never, ever tell the universe, things couldn’t get worse. It’s like, “Oh, challenge accepted.” Been there, done that. Don’t do that.
Write down where your pain point is, and where are you for real? Then write where do you want to be. What is the ideal for you?
Make two columns. On one side, make your list of everything that will be better once you make this change, on the other side, all the pain you will feel if you do not make the change.
Then imagine it clearly, one year from now how wonderful life will be because you made this change.
You started where you are and made yourself better! You can do it!
That’s why I’m here.